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After two weeks, it’s finally official. Well, unless you count Sam announcing it prematurely in primary last week…..oops! I am the new Primary President.nbsp;I hope I’m not this exhausted every Sunday! Yowza!nbsp;Inbsp;didn’t even have any official responsibilities today and I’m tired!nbsp;I’ll admit that br /today was rough.nbsp;It’s too much of a blur to detail it all, butnbsp;I realized many things today: Jordannbsp;should never travel on a weekend. We need a minivan.nbsp;I have great neighbors. I should never skip breakfast. It would be a good idea to set out church clothes the night before. I should always keep my cellphone close by, you know, in case there is a message thatnbsp;I need to pick someone up in 5 minutes whennbsp;I’m already running late. I also realized that Grant needs an intervention, andnbsp;that I should never attempt a craft project involving 35 children by myself.nbsp;I think this day happened to teach me that I would be crazy to attempt this calling alone. I need help; lots of it….and without today, it might have taken me a long time to realize this. So I guess I’m grateful for the lesson. But boy didnbsp;the lesson hurt! I will say that I’m already feeling the blessings of this calling too. One being the opportunity to attend a priesthood preview for the 11 year boys which was a great experience. It reminded me that I have been given a great privilege. Children really are the best among us.

Grant (20 months):br /br /Loves yogurtbr /Brushing his teethbr /Dancingbr /Yelling Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom into infinity….br /Always wants to benbsp;outsidebr /Pronounces please, “cheese”br /Loves baths, cuddling and Choo- Choosbr /Wantsnbsp;to do everything himselfbr /Is obsessed with shoes and was one of his first wordsbr /Is yelling as I write thisbr /Says “eww” when he needs a diaper changebr /Laughs a lotbr /br /br /Ben (5):br /br /Also loves yogurtbr /Would be content with a chocolate dietbr /Is obsessed with the military and terroristsbr /Still dresses up/accessorizes everydaybr /Is very enthusiastic about learning to readbr /Always reminding the family to do family scripture study and prayerbr /Would sleep in until 11am if I let himbr /Has some crazy ideas about how things work, are made etc…nbsp;and will not let you tell him otherwisebr /Insistsnbsp;that he and Jordan’s ties match for churchbr /Is into Pokémon cards and legosbr /Has an incredible memory and ability to absorb informationbr /His best friend is Thomas but has many girlfriends! br /br /Sam (9):br /br /Reading more than everbr /Loves sandwiches and makes them bynbsp;himselfbr /Begs to make dinner for the family and to play restaurantbr /Isnbsp; often lost in his own world playing with action figures, legos, or even kitchen toolsbr /Working toward his red belt in karatebr /Wants an airsoft gunbr /Hates to clean his room or do any kind of chorebr /Is learning how to manage money. He has saved $42.00 so far.br /Loves movie nights and requests them every night. br /Is watching Diary of a Wimpy Kid downstairs right nowbr /Loves the Wii, Poptropica, writing stories, poems, and playing school with Benbr /Would like a baby sisterbr /br /br /br /br /

Seven years ago I became a mother for the first time. This sweet baby girl changed my life forever, I love her so much! She is a very smart and creative girl. She is such a good big sister and so helpful to me and the kids. This last month all my kids have been so sick and Savanna missed several days of school. Even though I was sad she was sick, I really liked having her home. She and I have a special bond I think, she was my only child for a bit and that time was so special for us. She is growing up and changing that’s for sure, but she is still my baby girl. For Savanna’s 7th birthday we kind of had a repeat of last year. We had family over for cake and ice cream and then we went bowling! Savanna wanted cupcakes this year so after school we came home and the kids and I decorated them. The whole family had fun bowling and this year Avery won. I can’t believe I have a 7 year old, crazy! Happy Birthday Savanna!

I do most of the grocery shopping late at night by myself.  I don’t love trudging through the aisles half awake, dodging shelf stockers and large groups of teens, but I have little choice. During the day is out of the question. Grant is THAT child at the store. From the second I put him in the cart, he wants out. I spend so much of my time distracting him to keep him calm, that I end up distracting myself from the task at hand; namely picking out food. I often leave with a crying 1 year old and a mish mosh of groceries that don’t come close to resembling a coherent meal. So I often go when I’m already out for the evening, whether for book club, my scripture study group or meeting. The only problem with this is that I’m often exhausted and this had led to two brain malfunctions resulting in serious humiliation.

Incident #1: I was invited to a Christmas party at a girlfriend’s house for appetizers and dessert. The other purpose for the party was so that a mutual friend could display her jewelry that she sells. The company is called Paparazzi and basically it’s super cheap costume jewelry. Everything is 5 bucks. So I went that night, had a wonderful time and bought a super sparkly three tiered gray necklace. It coordinated perfectly with what I wearing that night so I wore it on my way out. Despite being tired, I knew that I should stop at the grocery store before going home. It helped that I felt super cute that night. Since I was feeling festive and pretty, I was a lot more interactive than I usually am at the store. Typically I am a head down, get business done kind of gal. You could probably mistake me for being a little cold. But this night was different. I was talking to the stock boys, exchanging pleasantries with passersby’s and making chit chat with the cashier. She was a teenager and seemed bored so I though I’d compliment her on her sweater and ask about her upcoming dance. She was pleasant enough, but something was off about our conversation. I started to feel a little dumb for having engaged her. Did she think I was old and lame? Anyway, I wouldn’t let it get me down. I got home and starting unloading the groceries. I went into the living room to find Jordan when I passed by our large mirror. I stopped dead in my tracks and burst out laughing (the laughing you do when you are beyond embarrassed). Sitting on my shoulder and hanging down the front my shirt was a tag the size of Texas! My necklace that it was dangling from was even tied up in it so that it looked like a jumbled mess on me. I felt like such a dork! Of course I had to replay the scene at the store over and over again and think of all those poor people I had talked to. Maybe they were too tired to notice? I certainly was! It was 11pm after all.

Incident #2: Last night I was doing major shopping so the cart was pretty packed. I was running out of room in the basket, so I decided to place my jars of spaghetti sauce on the bottom rack. I knew it was a bad idea the moment I did it but I think I was too tired to care. I got halfway down the aisle before it happened. One of the jars rolled right off sending glass and sauce everywhere, including my new winter boots!  Because it was so late at night there weren’t many people around to ask for help. I had to stand there like a goober waiting for someone to walk by. Eventually a man stopped. There were a few that just walked by and stared. I decided to cut my trip short and check out without running into the same cashier from the other incident. One of my boots is permanently stained pink where there was once white rubber and I’m now reconsidering my night shopping routine.

Jordan cracks me up.  And I crack him up. It’s awesome. The boys get to see their Dad and Mom being silly, but they have no idea how crazy it gets when they’re not around. The last few nights have been some of my favorite laughing sessions with Jordan. They have been complete with tears streaming down our faces, snorting, breath catching and just plain hilarity. I love when we escape into this world of ours. It is where I am most in love with him and he with me. It’s when I am reminded how he really is the one for me. He doesn’t only get my weird and gross humor, but he loves it. I love that no one else on this planet has seen this side of Jordan but me. I feel so special because it is quite a sight to see this quiet, responsible and level headed guy let loose and make me laugh so hard I can’t breathe. He is the one, no doubt about it. And that he feels the same way about me?  THE. BEST. FEELING. EVER!

What a week! It’s when Jordan travels that I realize how much he helps with the bedtime routine. It is my least favorite part of the day. It doesn’t matter how patient I was or how many good moments I shared with the boys during the day, it is all undone by 8 o’clock. The boys are stomping around, crying, pouting, and I’m threatening to ground them for life during scripture study. We are almost never in a good mood when family prayer starts. It’s terrible. It really doesn’t go any smoother when Jordan is in town, it’s just that I have his support and a partner in crime so to speak. He also can sense when I’ve had enough and will offer to take over. There is no such relief when it’s just me. So I was doing a lot of tantruming myself this week and a lot of apologizing to the boys. I will say that there were many bright moments too but it seems Moms have a habit of only dwelling on the massive failures. Anyway, Jordan came back from France on Friday with plenty of chocolate to go around which has an amazing way of making one forget their cares. We had a great weekend at home together. I have been exercising regularly again and it amazes me how much of a difference this has made in my moods (despite what I just confessed about my tantrums). I am just plain happier! I took a Zumba class on Saturday and despite the sweat and exhaustion, I was down right giddy! I tend to forget this and will skip exercise for weeks and even months at a time. It also motivates me to eat better (despite my previous confession to binging on Swiss chocolate). On a random note, I had a crazy dream last night (probably the chocolate). I dreamed that we had another boy. Problem is, he was born with a full set of teeth and he kind of looked like the joker…sigh…not exactly the kind of dream someone contemplating a fourth needs to be having! There was more to the dream that I won’t share because you’ll questions my state of mind. I have some seriously crazy thoughts when I’m asleep! I also got a new calling on Sunday. I can’t reveal it as it’s not official but I will say that I am in a bit of shock, especially since I usually sense these things coming (which I didn’t AT ALL) and because I was so happy in my current calling as nursery leader. I had only been in for a few months so I thought for sure I would be camping out for at least another year. I will miss my Granny Goose (Grant) so much. He is kind of crazy in nursery so I kind of feel for the next leader. That’s all for now.

Amazing. Jonathan McIntosh (a remix video artist) has written an interesting article on Ars Technica about what happened to him when Lionsgate (the copyright holder for the Twilight movies) decided that they should be making money from his mashup video that features clips of Edward from Twilight.

The short version is that he created a great mashup video of Buffy vs Edward several years ago. At some point in the recent past, Lionsgate decided to make a copyright claim on it and was able to have youtube start serving ads over the video (making money for Lionsgate).

When McIntosh realized what had happened, he filed a claim with youtube to reassert his rights as creator of the mashup video and have the ads removed (since one of the base tenets of Fair Use in copyright law is that you can’t make money from derivative works).

His claim was denied because Lionsgate refuted it more than once.

Eventually he got youtube to acknowledge the fact that he created the video in question (even though it features clips from the Twilight movies) and youtube returned ownership of the video to him so he could remove the ads.

Lionsgate then filed another claim to have the video taken down, which youtube did. The video has now been offline for 3 weeks.

There is merit on both sides of the argument. Lionsgate is the owner of the Twilight content, they paid a lot of money for it. However, copyright law makes it perfectly legal to use samples and clips of others’ work in creating new content, and especially so when the content is not used for profit. Technically, McIntosh is right that the video he created is his work and does not infringe on the copyright of the original work. The fact that Lionsgate can have his video taken down with little recourse for him is pretty nasty.

Anyway, the video is online at McIntosh’s website and requires a decent browser to view it. Besides the legal drama around it, the video is actually pretty cool and seems like an accurate representation of what would happen if Buffy met Edward.

One of my goals this year is to (try to) abandon perfection for progress. While it has been a very unconscious behavior and one that I often only see in retrospect, for many years I have taken the attitude that If I can’t do something perfectly, then I don’t do it. Or worse, I devote hours and hours to a goal or project, only to abandon it when I become overwhelmed by my own unattainable standards. This blog has been one of the casualties of this type of thinking. I would get one week behind, then 2, then a month, or six, and suddenly my vision for a perfectly detailed and chronological account of my family’s life is ruined. There were several times that I felt compelled to share something on the blog months after my last post, whether it was something funny the kids said, a memorable trip, or to share my thoughts on current events. But I couldn’t do it! It wasn’t in order! How could I blog about Ben’s preschool graduation when I hadn’t even mentioned Grant’s birth! Even as I write this, I cringe at the thought of breaking the “rules” that I have come to live by. BUT, despite that, I’m going to try and focus on moving forward, not on catching up or producing something great. It is for that reason that I’m writing this post. I just needed to get something down without pictures or perfect grammar. While this is just a silly blog, it signifies a little bit more than that. Hopefully my new approach to this blog (just do it) will also be reflected in other areas of my life. My next task will be to send out the 10+ Christmas cards that are still sitting on my living room table because I felt that it was too late to send them. And of course each day that goes by, the more I am convinced of this. I will send them out tomorrow because there are no rules when it comes to sending out pictures of your family to your friends and family (even if they say Merry Christmas in mid January). Right? Right? Following that, I will finally deliver the Christmas presents that I’ve had since November to my friends and neighbors because I will give myself permission to deliver them without the perfectly written cards that were going to accompany them. Oh, and without the perfect bows…and without waiting for a time when I have clear skin, a cute outfit on, when Ben is in school, and Grant is in a good mood etc…See how nothing gets done around here? The last time those conditions were met was….um…NEVER!

This year I had dreams of starting the new year with an amazing blog post about all the amazing things I was going to do this year, including updating the blog more often. I really want to expand the topics of my posts, not just travel logs of what my family has been doing. But, ehh, who knows what will happen right? Maybe I will achieve those things, maybe not, but all I can do is try.
                                     Some of the things I want to do are:
Take more pictures. I was recently going through all my downloaded pictures for a Christmas gift and I noticed that there were several months where I didn’t take even one picture. That’s sad. I am going to try to be better at taking pictures of my growing children.

Get Avery potty trained (again). We started back in April and she did ok but then had some constipation issues that led to a complete fear of the potty and was back in pull-ups for awhile. This time I am going about it very slowly and trying to be patient with her. She’s so cute.

Be more patient and calm. Obviously children pick-up on how their parents act and I am generally an impatient/not calm individual. My sweet Savanna is my mini-me. We look and act very much the same, I can’t get mad at her for being the spitting image of my crazy, worried, un-calm, impatient self. But I also can’t live with her being like that either. So, I have to change my ways and hopefully that will transfer over to her and she will stop waking up in the middle of the night stressing about when she is going to get a new bedspread. 

In addition to these things I want to be more positive, live in the moment kind of thing and celebrate small victories. Even if I don’t accomplish all I set out to do in one day, I’m sure I can find at least one thing to count as a victory. Today was an off sort of day. First of all this winter is killing me! 10 degrees in the middle of the day is too cold! Then I was dealing with issues with people who pay us a small amount of money each month to live in our house then expect me to make sure that they never experience a moment of discomfort. Sheesh, there was an earwig in my sink this morning but I didn’t call my mortgage company to come get it for me! Anyway, then I almost started crying in the middle of the grocery store because my kids were fighting and running around, there was a HUGE line at the pharmacy and Avery peed her pants. When we finally got out to the car I discovered some forgotten yogurt that was hiding under Miles’ coat and didn’t get paid for. I was so tempted to just throw the yogurt in my car get the heck out of there but… that would be wrong. So I headed back inside to pay for the yogurt. Not stealing yogurt was today’s small victory.